Why are some Divorces Drama-Free?

Once the subject of front-page headlines, Matt Lauer’s divorce has quietly receded from the news cycle.  Lauer’s wife, Annette Roque, sought a divorce after he was infamously fired from NBC for allegations of sexual misconduct. Roque was, quite likely, humiliated and angry.  And yet, as things stand today, the divorce process has been relatively drama free……what’s going on here and what lessons can we pull from it? 

Lesson #1:  Divorce does not have to be a battle royal that is played out in a courtroom for all the world to see.  Of course, this scenario would have been perfectly understandable given the circumstances. However, alternative pathways to divorce, such as mediation or negotiation, are common and used all the time.  These options are seen as collaborative, and typically focus on keeping the divorce out of the courtroom. 

Divorce is taxing and emotional on its own, without adding the stress of litigating in a court of law.  As a result, Roque and Lauer may have simply elected a collaborative resolution to move through divorce.  And who could blame them, given the amount of press and scrutiny that has befallen them.  

Lesson #2:  Sometimes one party simply wants to get things over as quickly as possible.  It takes both parties disagreeing on issues to escalate a divorce to a courtroom battle.  In this case, Lauer has been said to be open to giving Roque whatever she wants.  It would certainly explain the lack of drama.

Lesson #3:  The children feel the stress of a heavily litigated divorce.  There are times when parents will choose to take the high road to resolve their legal differences and refrain from a hostile or combative approach.  They do this for the sake of their kids’ wellbeing.  No matter how hard a parent tries to shield them, children will absorb the stress and anxiety that accompanies a contested divorce.  In this case, Roque and Lauer have been observed spending time with their children out of the spotlight.