I recently posted the following quote on several divorce Facebook sites at which I am a member:
“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.”
What I didn’t expect was the outpouring of commentary about this anonymous quote. Among the 700+ “likes” and “loves”, there were also many FB members who railed against the idea that one could let go of a relationship or thought pattern that was self-destructive. Some intimated that it was downright insensitive of me to suggest that someone could do that or that I must think it was easy (not accurate) or that I couldn’t understand on a personal level (also not accurate). There were also many members who commented that the quote helped them that day or had other positive messages.
Because of the feedback, I began thinking about how brave one must be to be courageous. Sounds funny, doesn’t it? You have to feel brave to act brave. Oftentimes, that’s very difficult to pull off. Especially in a divorce situation. Particularly in a divorce situation. Contemplating divorce is crushing. Going through the divorce process can be devastating. The aftermath of a divorce can be soul-numbing. Yet, the only way to get through all of that is with courage and honest self-reflection.
Letting go of what—or whom—is hurting your heart and soul is not an easy process and it’s not for the faint of heart. Still in all, what is your alternative? To continue allowing this hurtful person to harm you? To allow him to take you down completely? To begin harming yourself through unwise or dangerous behaviors? To allow your children to continue living in an unsafe or unhealthy home? None of those are good alternatives either. So, you must choose: the route you’ve taken that’s hurt you or to put up a shield and plunge through the darkness?
The choice is always yours. Maybe today is not your day to be brave and let go of what is hurting your heart and soul, but it WILL be the one of the most courageous decisions you will ever make...and I promise you it will be for the better.