President Donald Trump’s first wife, Ivana Trump just made news calling herself “First Lady” in an on-air interview to publicize her upcoming book, “Raising Trump”.  This declaration prompted the actual First Lady, Melania Trump to address the comments, calling them “attention-seeking and self-serving noise”.  President Trump’s second wife, Marla Maples has yet to address being called “the showgirl” by the first Mrs. Trump. 

            Although you may not be First Lady of the United States, you are First Lady of your household and all this ruckus begs the question: how do you respond to unfair noise about you when it’s lobbed about by your wusband’s new wife?  It may be tempting—and satisfying—to launch all all-out attack via text and social media, but let’s just take a small step back before you take action.  How can you rise above the fray, be the elegant woman you are, and try to get along with her?

            Examine Your True Feelings

It’s unfair! It’s untrue! It’s humiliating!  All what? I’d like you to look at why you are reacting.  Could you be jealous of her lifestyle? Could you be fearful of her relationship with your children? Do you feel lonely or unsatisfied in your own life?  Yes, she shouldn’t have said or done whatever is getting your goat right now, but your true feelings are the ones that matter.

            Address Her Directly

Call her and ask for a meeting. Let her know that you don’t want any difficulty in your relationship with her and ask her to do the same. Devise a plan with her that covers any challenges the two of you may have (leave the wusband’s out of it; he is her problem now) and try to come to an agreement about how to address these issues with each other directly and cordially.  Gritting your teeth as you do this is optional.

            You Have Control of Three Things In Your Life and One Of Them Isn’t Her

You have control of your own thoughts, your own behaviors and your own reactions.  You have the opportunity to choose each one of those in relationship to the new Mrs.  Choose wisely and with forethought.

            Remember That The Kids Come First

Before your hurt feelings about her comments, before your desire to say equally hurtful things about her, before you involve the children.  She now has your children’s time and attention.  It is very confusing and damaging to the kids to be forced to choose.  You are their mom; they are always going to choose you...unless you begin acting in an hysterical manner that gives them cause for concern.  Don’t push it.

            History Will Judge You For Your Actions Today

There are actions that you can’t take back: unkind tweets, lunatic Facebook posts, crazy texts that can be made public to those who matter to you.  Those remain forever. Don’t set yourself up for future regret.